I met Vatsala Shukla during scavanger hunt and we traded posts. Today, is her guest post to help oneself during tough times. A handy post for all of us.
3 Things You can do to help yourself when experiencing tough times
By: Vatsala Shukla
Tough times arrive unannounced and while people may sympathize with you, they cannot give you a magic pill to swallow and make it go away. The definition of a tough time can differ from person to person. It can take the form of a job loss, a new baby with no immediate support from relatives and other children at home, bereavement, going through a divorce and a whole lot of other stressful life situations that we may not be prepared for.
Your ability to cope with a tough time comes down to resilience and your basic nature. However, there are 3 things that anyone can do to be self-supportive and ride out the time knowing that this too shall pass.
The first and most important step is to accept the situation. This means not trying to deny it or run away from it just accepting that yes, you have a situation on hand and that you need to do something about it. It means acknowledging and feeling your feelings. It is only when we accept a situation that we can start to change it or at least start to focus our energies in a positive way to take corrective actions.
For example, if you are working in an organization where they are planning to cut jobs or you have already gotten a hint that your job is on the line, acceptance helps to create space for what positive actions you can take, some of which will include updating your resume and circulating it, finding out more about your severance package, asking HR to help provide leads or referrals to other organizations and even mobilizing your network.
2.Put the problem in correct perspective
Ask yourself, are you by any chance magnifying the problem? Is it a catastrophe or an inconvenience? We often tend to magnify the problem forgetting that we might actually have the power to do something about it.
My favorite self-talk question which serves as a Litmus Test is to ask myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen?” Usually it is something where I will still have some control over the outcome of the situation. Continuing from the example I gave, the worst case scenario is losing the job, not the end of the world and it is an area where you can take action to find a job before you lose the job.
3.Ask for help
This step can be difficult for some people, especially those whose self-perception is one of being completely self-reliant or whose self-respect stops them from asking for help. Others may have gone through your situation and could possibly be in a good position to guide you if not to provide the immediate assistance that you require.
When asking for help, be direct and let others know what you really need help with and what you don’t. Help can come in many forms – from family members, colleagues, from support groups and even from your Higher Self!
Choose whom you wish to seek help from. Sometimes your immediate circle may not be equipped to handle what you are going through, in which case seek the help of your family doctor, a coach, counselor or who you think can help you.
Bonus Tip: Avoid toxic people or those that will criticize or put you down. When we go through tough times, we tend to be vulnerable and need to surround ourselves with people who will bolster our confidence, not drag us further into the vortex of fear, depression and anxiety that we are trying to avoid.
Tough times can also be periods of great learning and the experience can build our resilience for other challenges that Life will show us. There is much depth in the saying “Tough times never last, but tough people do”. Know that this too shall pass and if you take the right steps and actions, you will ride out the storm.
Have you ever had to overcome a tough time? What actions did you take?
About Vatsala Shukla
Vatsala Shukla, a student of Life, is an FCA from ICAEW, a Certified LIFE Coach and Master SPIRIT LIFE Coach focusing on results-oriented mid-career professional who know that they have what it takes and yet experience the unbearable pain of a stagnant career and want to take charge of their careers without compromising their work life balance. She calls her practice Karmic Ally Coaching and her career coaching programs incorporate her 25 years of international experience working for global majors as well visualization techniques and Chakra balancing exercises to facilitate whole transformation in her clients. Vatsala shares many of her exercises and techniques at her blog The Karmic Ally Coaching Experience Blog.
Links: Website: http://karmicallycoaching.com